How It Used to Be

            I had a conversation with my dad the other day and he commented about “wishing things were the way they used to be.”  Like my dad, sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock several years and have the opportunity to enjoy another Christmas or birthday with my mom.  I wish my entire family was back in Paterson in the house I grew up in around my parent’s dining room table playing a game.  At this time of the year it is easy to get wrapped up in nostalgic moments and it can become extremely hard to move forward.  I have found myself reflecting and wishing that some things could just be how they used to be.  As much as I wish, and at times become very frustrated - I am very clear that some things have permanently changed and will never be the same. 

My dad and my five siblings are spread out over 4 states and 6 cities.  January 2011 will mark the 7^th year of my mom’s death.  In my heart I know she is at rest but many days I can only focus on the emptiness I feel and the hole left by her absence.  As I continue through this process I have had to accept that I must continue to learn how to live without the phone calls from my mom, the words of advice and the birthday and holiday wishes. Anyone that has ever lost someone close to them can hopefully understand where I’m coming from.  With each passing year you continue to think and reflect on how things used to be and long for past seasons of your life.    

When I think about this I can't help but think how this applies to other areas of our life.  Many times we take this same way of thinking into our Christian walk.  We long to recapture some moment in time when everything was seemingly better.  I can’t relive my 20’s or early 30’s; I must embrace the blessing of being where I am right now.  There was a song from a popular Christian artist that basically gave an account of how much we mess up and was a plea to God asking if things could be the way they used to be.  I loved the song and I completely relate to what the writer was feeling.   We want that passion that we once had when we were first saved.  The more I think about this though, I have started seeing this a little different.  I will be celebrating 20 years of marriage in 2011 and as much as I enjoyed the early years, I do not want my relationship with my husband to be like it was when I was a 19 year old newlywed.  It was great back then in that stage of our marriage, but I wouldn’t take anything for where we are now.  Our experiences have made our love stronger, deeper and more mature than I could ever have imagined.  No matter how hard we try it will never be how it used to be, because we are not who we used to be and we know more than we did back then.  We are in a different season of our lives.  The experiences we encountered have changed us, matured us, fortified our faith and refined who we are in God. 

This is true in our relationship with God also.  It is imperative that we remain committed to God and do what is necessary to make sure we stay connected to the Father.  Make sure your foundation is sure, but don’t simply wish for things to be the way they used to be.  God is doing a new thing.  If we are not careful, we can become stuck where God was, and miss that we are not where God is now - or sensitive to where He is going!  Instead of recapturing a previous moment in history, be open to the unchartered territory that God wants to usher you into.  I have lived for many years believing and expecting greatness to be manifested in my life and of those around me.  When we long to have things the way they used to be we may be limiting the awesome power of God.  There are certain things in our life that God will revive and restore but then there are other areas or relationships that we will never experience again.  We have to understand that loved ones lost or broken friendships will not be a part of the chapters in our life that are still being written, but don’t be afraid to turn the page and see what God has planned for you. 

            As you end 2010 and cross over into the new year, know that things may never be the way they used to be.  If our faith is in God though, we must know that there is no failure in Him.  He is redesigning our lives.  In Isaiah 43:19 the scriptures say, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland”.  If you are longing for God to restore your marriage or a relationship with a friend or family member, don’t simply desire for it to be the way it used to be.  Let your prayer be that God will make it better than before.  Don’t long for your passion for God to be like it was when you first got saved.  He wants to make it even better, with a heart for Him and a keener sensitivity to His Spirit.  “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him (1 Corinthians 2:9)."  God wants you to walk in places you have never seen and to experience Him in a whole new way.  Are you ready for what God is about to do?

(Every post in my blog is meant to be a reflection of my heart.  I will make every effort to eliminate errors, but please forgive any grammatical errors that were sacrificed for creative expression...lol)

What Are You Saying?

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” – Psalm 19:14

Words are important to me.  Sometimes my hesitancy to speak is mistaken for me being quiet or shy.  I am not shy and it is not that I don’t have anything to say or that I don’t have an opinion or perspective worth sharing.  My respect for the value of words and how they shape our life, has always left me slow to speak.  Unfortunately many people frivolously scatter their words.  Saying whatever they want, when they want, with no regard for the seeds of destruction that are sown.   People will also use words to slander, deceive and manipulate with no care for those that get caught in its web. 

I understand now more than ever that I must say what God has placed in me.  Our culture is permeated with messages of doubt, despair and darkness.  We have to decide if we will be a part of the solution or if we are supporting the problem.  I have not understood why we would waste our time to speak profanity, vulgarity and empty words instead of allowing our words to be purposeful.  If we don't speak life and truth then we are speaking death and lies.

This is only my 2^nd blog posting but I want to use the space to share a short piece that I wrote several years ago. 

Listen Up!

My words

Written or spoken

You need to hear

Ink on a page

Or embracing your ear

Silenced, ignored

Disregarded for too long…

Am I to blame?

Weak signal

The reception’s not strong

Hello…Are you there?

Can you hear me…Now?

The time is here

I must be heard

Life or Death

Power in each word

It is my voice

How I use, my choice

Power to heal

Comfort or liberate

Yet our words

Like bricks

We hurl to berate

Someone struggled

To free my voice

Choosing to be silent

It’s my death choice

Today I choose life

My words the key

To unlock fear’s vice

Pressure on my chest

I need a release

Bottled up thoughts

I must profess

Written or spoken

I must let go

Who will hear

Will they care?

I don’t know

Confident, convinced

My words are needed

To save someone’s life

Or my own insights heeded

Listen up!

Because I must speak

Uncertain of whom

My message will reach

My story, will you heart it?

Or read it in a book

I must be selfish

Need to stop the burn

Right now I confess

Survival is my concern

My message, I don’t care

If you choose not to hear

The weight of my words

No longer can I bare

Throbbing in my belly

Resolving the internal fight

Contractions intense

I must bring forth life

Pushing forth before I burst

This is the day, I need relief

Letting go…giving birth

Shhh…I’m about to speak!

How you use your words is really a matter of choice but I encourage you to take a minute and think before you speak.  The Bible lets us know that the power of life and death is in our tongue.  Realize that what you are saying is affecting your life and the life of those connected to you.  Where you are in your life is linked to what you have said.  What you have said is connected to what you believe.  Are your words and conversation acceptable to God?  Has anything you said pushed someone or yourself closer to God or have you disregarded the power of your words.  Has what you have been saying arrested your own development?

I pray today that you will take a minute to think about your faith and your relationship with God.  The only way that God can help us to tame our tongue and value our words is to first deal with our heart.  I think we must discipline ourselves to refrain from saying things we don't need to.  However, we must make sure we are allowing our voice to be heard when we are required to speak life when death is surrounding us.  What we say matters!  Just be sure that you are using it for the right reason.   

From my heart to yours...Rhonda Nicole Curry

Change is Good

Romans 12:1-2
¹ And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. ² Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Many people spend a lifetime searching for fulfillment and happiness.  We pursue careers, establish relationships and build families hoping to satisfy some inner need or desire.  Although these are all commendable pursuits and rewarding aspects of our lives, God has created us for so much more.

Don't misunderstand me, maintaining healthy families and achieving success in our careers is of major importance.  Sometimes we get so caught up in what we do that we spend a lifetime filling a role.  We are everything to everybody, and we fail to live the life that God has desired for us.  Despite our greatest attempts to attain wholeness and fulfillment, many people end up settling for an empty existence.  Before long our dreams become overshadowed by the challenges and struggles of  life.  We allow ourselves to become stuck in the ashes of our experiences, measuring our worth by the intensity of our pain. 

I have witnessed this immobilizing digression of hope occur repeatedly.  Once we allow doubt and fear to entangle us we leave ourselves open and vulnerable for attack.  We begin to accept drama, devastation and disappointment as normal, and we stop expecting to see our dreams manifested.  We quickly discard the possibility of change.  

Change comes with so much uncertainty that we are often resistant to it.  Fear of the unknown will often keep us from moving forward.  We are creatures of habit and it is easier to do what we have always done and accept the mundane routine that we have become accustomed to.

As you follow this blog and the expressions of my heart, I pray that your passion for purpose will be rekindled.  My goal is to challenge you to move pass whatever has been blocking your progress.  If you have questioned your reason for living, I pray that the Spirit of God would ignite the purpose that lies within you.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Regardless to what you have experienced you are special and valuable to God.  You may have endured abandonment  or abuse, but I must remind you that you are not what you've been through.  I've heard it said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  What would have destroyed someone else, you survived.  God has great plans for your life. 

I pray today that the struggles of your life will not choke the breath out of you.  I decree that every broken and wounded area of your life would be mended by the love of God.  I invite you to embark on a journey of healing with me.  God has imagined a life for you much bigger than what you have experienced.  God wants to change your heart, your mind and your life.  I encourage you to dream, believe and expect more as God shifts you into a  new realm of possibility. 

From my heart to yours...Rhonda Nicole Curry